They're in my life to show me what?

I got to thinking about growing up! When I was in school, I was on the honor roll and did very well. I was ‘highly recommended’ they called it – which meant I graduated without having to write a final exam. I didn’t have to worry about my smarts. That’s what helped me get to where I wanted to go in life.

What I didn’t have to worry about was my weight! I was ‘chubby’…you know one of those ‘so not like barbie types!’ I remember my weight issues being a real bothersome thing for me growing up. Coming from a family of 6 children, at times I only had one pair of ‘stretchy’ pants. Made me think about wearing out the middle of the legs in my pants and getting teased, wasn’t the greatest feeling.

My sisters were skinny and it used to bother me that I wasn’t. As well, my mom was very heavy and has been most of her life. They were some of the people around me reflecting back to me how I wasn’t happy with my body (you know that part of me that goes everywhere I go).

When I look at my life now, I see something interesting showing up. I am coming to be more at peace with my body and all its wonderment. Along with that peacefulness, comes acceptance of my self. I know I’m less and less judgmental of the size of people and I see that reflected in those around me. I attract more people who are okay with them selves, whether they are skinny or fat. I knew something had changed when I went over to my mom’s and I didn’t even notice what she was wearing (a sign that I didn’t even pay any attention to her body).

When you can be okay with being fat or being skinny, being smart or being dumb, you will not react to things related to them. Regardless of who is around you, you will be okay, which is a sign of being neutral….and that’s the place where you will find peace. The people around you reflect back to you where you are at with anything that is going on in your life. They love and support you enough to show you if there is something there for you to work through. If something bothers you, you can lovingly clear through it.