Can You Make Them Do Anything?

My mother-in-law is in the hospital right now after having her knee replacement done. I went to do reflexology on her feet and asked her to lift her leg up so I could put a pillow under her ankle. She couldn't lift her leg by herself. I noticed right away I was bothered by that. She had her knee replacement done 2 weeks ago and she still couldn't lift her leg. We did help her lift her leg so I could work on her feet. This brought about a huge revelation for me. You see, every day when we go in to visit her, I work on her feet and I also do energy work on her. What I came to see was I can do the reflexology and the energy work for her....but I can't do everything for her.

In life, you can help your family and friends and whoever, but you can't do it for them. Energetcially speaking, you can walk beside them, but you can't walk for them. You can help them breath, but you can't breath for them. You can lead them but you can't make them follow. You can only do so much to support the people around you and they have to still take the necessary steps to do for themself. If you find you are the kind of person who is bothered by this....there may be a number of things going on. It can be anything from the need to control the people around you, all the way to you having trouble trusting the process other people have to go through for themself. Those are only a few things this may be showing you.

Even if you make them do 'it' once, you can't make them do it all the time. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. You can show it how, but you can't convince it's the best thing for it. Sometimes in the process, the horse has to try something else before it knows the real value of drinking the water.

Suicide or what?

Recently, I have heard of a number of people talking about committing suicide. They can’t handle what is going on. I remember going through a phase in my life where I had these thoughts myself. What’s your take on all of this? Do you think the people who talk about suicide really want to ‘end it all’? For me, I came to see it wasn’t the death of the physical body I wanted. I only wanted to end all the awful thoughts I was having. I wanted them to go away and give me peace of mind.

I have been looking a great deal at my body, mind and spirit. One morning, I saw something really interesting. Through my life there were specific times where my body, mind and spirit had actually died of an unnatural death.

As I became more aware of what it was showing me, I came to see it was something that happened in reaction to what was going on at the time. I didn’t like to look at my body. I didn’t think my mind was very smart. My spirit had died. I am now choosing to clear through that ‘stuff’ and bring Sheila back to life, in body, mind and spirit. Sheila is now being born again. In the process of me being born again, I now see life all around me. My body is rejuvenating, my mind is waking up and my spirit is free to live life as Sheila.

When I look at living now from this new perspective, I can say I am experiencing the death of my awful thoughts, giving me more peace of mind than I have ever had before.

They're in my life to show me what?

I got to thinking about growing up! When I was in school, I was on the honor roll and did very well. I was ‘highly recommended’ they called it – which meant I graduated without having to write a final exam. I didn’t have to worry about my smarts. That’s what helped me get to where I wanted to go in life.

What I didn’t have to worry about was my weight! I was ‘chubby’…you know one of those ‘so not like barbie types!’ I remember my weight issues being a real bothersome thing for me growing up. Coming from a family of 6 children, at times I only had one pair of ‘stretchy’ pants. Made me think about wearing out the middle of the legs in my pants and getting teased, wasn’t the greatest feeling.

My sisters were skinny and it used to bother me that I wasn’t. As well, my mom was very heavy and has been most of her life. They were some of the people around me reflecting back to me how I wasn’t happy with my body (you know that part of me that goes everywhere I go).

When I look at my life now, I see something interesting showing up. I am coming to be more at peace with my body and all its wonderment. Along with that peacefulness, comes acceptance of my self. I know I’m less and less judgmental of the size of people and I see that reflected in those around me. I attract more people who are okay with them selves, whether they are skinny or fat. I knew something had changed when I went over to my mom’s and I didn’t even notice what she was wearing (a sign that I didn’t even pay any attention to her body).

When you can be okay with being fat or being skinny, being smart or being dumb, you will not react to things related to them. Regardless of who is around you, you will be okay, which is a sign of being neutral….and that’s the place where you will find peace. The people around you reflect back to you where you are at with anything that is going on in your life. They love and support you enough to show you if there is something there for you to work through. If something bothers you, you can lovingly clear through it.

Relating to others around you...relating to your Self

Let’s look at the relationships around you today. In the relationship with your partner/spouse, how do you relate with each other? In the relationship between you and each one of your children, how do you relate with each other? With every relationship that is important to you, how do you relate with each other? If you are ‘strong’ in relating with each other, your ‘internal dynamics’ will be strong between the two of you. It will mean you will not be affected by the ‘external world’ around you!

If you and your partner/spouse relate strongly with each other, you won’t be affected by for example, the in-laws or friends who may try to influence some part of the relationship between the two of you. The same goes with each one of your children. There will be a ‘strong’ feeling between the two of you. When you come to feel that strength, you can move onto the family unit as a whole. Everyone in the family can relate coming from a place of strength with each other.

Let’s keep moving forward…what about your relationship with God? Are you strong in relating with God? If there is a weakness there, you will feel it. Now, what about your Self? Are you strong in relating with/to your Self? That may sound odd, but I assure you, if you have a weakness with your Self, you will feel it when you think about relating to your Self. By clearing your weaknesses, you will be in a stronger place within your Self….and you will feel it!

Who's in control of who?

With Valentine’s Day around the corner…I feel one of the most important qualities in a relationship with your partner is to accept the decisions they make and to support them in those decisions. That is without saying anything to the contrary! Easy? Are you kidding me! It has to be one of the toughest things for me to overcome. I’m not only talking about my husband, I’m talking about the majority of my relationships with people. In looking back, anytime I’ve ‘reacted’ to their decisions in the past, it hasn’t been a good experience. It almost felt like I wished I wouldn’t have said anything.

‘Reacting’ shows up when you try to talk them out of their decision for some reason. It can come from thinking you know what would be better than they do. It can come from those times where you thought you were smarter or it can go deep down to where you wanted them to do what you wanted them to do (maybe be with you instead of going out with their friends). Talk about controlling issues. I know I’ve come from all those places at one time or another. It truly has been my reaction that showed me my lessons. If I don’t get it the first time, it shows up again. The Universe is so good about making sure I get it one of these times.

Almost every time I’ve reacted to some of the decisions my husband has made, I’ve come to a place of seeing how what I did was wrong (if I could use that word); how what I did was not called for. One time he made plans to do some building in the garage. I talked him out of it so we could be together that night. He changed his plans and what ended up happening was I got a call to do some energy work on someone who needed it that night. If I would have accepted my husband’s decision to work in the garage, and supported him, we would have both been in a place to do what we were both called to do that night.

The other side of that is true as well. My husband made plans to do some building and I was at peace with those plans. I knew we would be together later. What happened was his plans changed and I got to be with him the whole night.

When we get ourselves out of the way allowing life to flow, it does so for the highest good of the whole involved. We don’t see what is planned for us or the others in our life for that matter. Are you okay with that? Who’s in control of who?

Where are your parents in your body?

Energetically it is spoken that your left side of your body is your feminine/yin side and your right side is your masculine/yang side. Well now incorporate your mother on your left side and your father on your right side. Firstly, look at your mom and dad individually. What generally stands out about what you noticed they did or didn’t do when it comes to for example, money, working, or relationships? Once you’ve done that, look at how they relate(d) to each other. Then look at your self in relation to them. How were you treated? As an adult now, young or old, look at the areas where you struggle or have challenges. Using the information you noticed about your parents, what are you noticing about your own life? Where are you feeling most of the problems in your physical body, on your left or your right side? How are you running your energy? Are there times when you’ve said you would hate to be like your mom or dad? What if you were like ‘them’? You will begin to see some patterns unfolding.

In my life growing up and still even now, my father yells at my mom all the time to do something. It seems when he gets frustrated with things he yells at my mom (that generation didn’t deal too well with their emotions). I reacted to this at home. It sure bothered me and can still catch me off guard. I would start to yell back at him telling him there was no need to yell. I also took that bother into my adulthood; no one was ever going to yell at me in this life time! There are times though where I yell. Hummm! Now my mom was a traditional stay at home mom. She raised us children, being there every day to make sure we had meals prepared and clean clothes for us. I will always remember how she was the one to drive us to all our activities. She would sew our clothes and even did some sewing for others. Along the way she sewed more professionally. She would spend hours and hours sewing beads on wedding gowns and only charge $200. When I would ask her for money for my activities, she wouldn’t have any and would send me to the garage to ask my dad. That was a nightmare because it turned into a begging session. It bothered me to have to ask for money for anything.

Well here’s what I’m noticing in my life. I feel I struggle to get my business to really take off. I’m silencing my business side some how; I’m silencing my dad so I don’t have to hear his yelling anymore. I feel this physically on my right side. When I look at my mother side, I have pushed and shoved and pulled myself so hard, because I didn’t want to be yelled at for doing nothing. I also tend to find it hard to charge for my services at times. As I’m becoming conscious of these patterns I can understand what’s behind some of my issues!

That is only one aspect of my mother/father part of me. Its about learning how I’m running my energy. It has helped me to see where pains, patterns, habits, etc. originate. Have fun!