Recently, I have heard of a number of people talking about committing suicide. They can’t handle what is going on. I remember going through a phase in my life where I had these thoughts myself. What’s your take on all of this? Do you think the people who talk about suicide really want to ‘end it all’? For me, I came to see it wasn’t the death of the physical body I wanted. I only wanted to end all the awful thoughts I was having. I wanted them to go away and give me peace of mind.
I have been looking a great deal at my body, mind and spirit. One morning, I saw something really interesting. Through my life there were specific times where my body, mind and spirit had actually died of an unnatural death.
As I became more aware of what it was showing me, I came to see it was something that happened in reaction to what was going on at the time. I didn’t like to look at my body. I didn’t think my mind was very smart. My spirit had died. I am now choosing to clear through that ‘stuff’ and bring Sheila back to life, in body, mind and spirit. Sheila is now being born again. In the process of me being born again, I now see life all around me. My body is rejuvenating, my mind is waking up and my spirit is free to live life as Sheila.
When I look at living now from this new perspective, I can say I am experiencing the death of my awful thoughts, giving me more peace of mind than I have ever had before.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Monday, March 15, 2010
They're in my life to show me what?
I got to thinking about growing up! When I was in school, I was on the honor roll and did very well. I was ‘highly recommended’ they called it – which meant I graduated without having to write a final exam. I didn’t have to worry about my smarts. That’s what helped me get to where I wanted to go in life.
What I didn’t have to worry about was my weight! I was ‘chubby’…you know one of those ‘so not like barbie types!’ I remember my weight issues being a real bothersome thing for me growing up. Coming from a family of 6 children, at times I only had one pair of ‘stretchy’ pants. Made me think about wearing out the middle of the legs in my pants and getting teased, wasn’t the greatest feeling.
My sisters were skinny and it used to bother me that I wasn’t. As well, my mom was very heavy and has been most of her life. They were some of the people around me reflecting back to me how I wasn’t happy with my body (you know that part of me that goes everywhere I go).
When I look at my life now, I see something interesting showing up. I am coming to be more at peace with my body and all its wonderment. Along with that peacefulness, comes acceptance of my self. I know I’m less and less judgmental of the size of people and I see that reflected in those around me. I attract more people who are okay with them selves, whether they are skinny or fat. I knew something had changed when I went over to my mom’s and I didn’t even notice what she was wearing (a sign that I didn’t even pay any attention to her body).
When you can be okay with being fat or being skinny, being smart or being dumb, you will not react to things related to them. Regardless of who is around you, you will be okay, which is a sign of being neutral….and that’s the place where you will find peace. The people around you reflect back to you where you are at with anything that is going on in your life. They love and support you enough to show you if there is something there for you to work through. If something bothers you, you can lovingly clear through it.
What I didn’t have to worry about was my weight! I was ‘chubby’…you know one of those ‘so not like barbie types!’ I remember my weight issues being a real bothersome thing for me growing up. Coming from a family of 6 children, at times I only had one pair of ‘stretchy’ pants. Made me think about wearing out the middle of the legs in my pants and getting teased, wasn’t the greatest feeling.
My sisters were skinny and it used to bother me that I wasn’t. As well, my mom was very heavy and has been most of her life. They were some of the people around me reflecting back to me how I wasn’t happy with my body (you know that part of me that goes everywhere I go).
When I look at my life now, I see something interesting showing up. I am coming to be more at peace with my body and all its wonderment. Along with that peacefulness, comes acceptance of my self. I know I’m less and less judgmental of the size of people and I see that reflected in those around me. I attract more people who are okay with them selves, whether they are skinny or fat. I knew something had changed when I went over to my mom’s and I didn’t even notice what she was wearing (a sign that I didn’t even pay any attention to her body).
When you can be okay with being fat or being skinny, being smart or being dumb, you will not react to things related to them. Regardless of who is around you, you will be okay, which is a sign of being neutral….and that’s the place where you will find peace. The people around you reflect back to you where you are at with anything that is going on in your life. They love and support you enough to show you if there is something there for you to work through. If something bothers you, you can lovingly clear through it.
Monday, March 8, 2010
For any length of time!
I just came home from visiting a friend. I was saddened by what was going on with her.
After so many years with a dominating, verbally abusive partner, she didn’t know anymore what she wanted in her life or what she even enjoyed doing. Her partner left her not long ago and she is now lost as to what to do. I asked her what she likes to do. She likes to watch her favorite programs on TV. I said what else. She didn’t know. I asked again. She said she used to love baking and doesn’t do that anymore. You see, over time she had closed that part of her self down. Little by little over the years, what else did she close down?
Well for myself, is there a message in that? You bet there is…a huge message!!! I used to put my life on hold for others, literally on hold! I used to put so much effort into dreaming of business ideas for the people in my life, hoping somehow I could be there to help them. I didn’t realize along the way, I wasn’t allowing my self to open up to what I wanted.
How many of you are like that? You don’t know what it is you like to do or would even enjoy doing for any length of time. If you had all the time in the world what would you do? You are so busy taking care of this and that for others….and controlling this or that for others, that you don’t even know what it is you really want to do or enjoy doing. If you are at a place in your life where your children are grown up and gone, your partner is busy doing their own thing, what are you going to do? What will it take to get to that information within your self?
After so many years with a dominating, verbally abusive partner, she didn’t know anymore what she wanted in her life or what she even enjoyed doing. Her partner left her not long ago and she is now lost as to what to do. I asked her what she likes to do. She likes to watch her favorite programs on TV. I said what else. She didn’t know. I asked again. She said she used to love baking and doesn’t do that anymore. You see, over time she had closed that part of her self down. Little by little over the years, what else did she close down?
Well for myself, is there a message in that? You bet there is…a huge message!!! I used to put my life on hold for others, literally on hold! I used to put so much effort into dreaming of business ideas for the people in my life, hoping somehow I could be there to help them. I didn’t realize along the way, I wasn’t allowing my self to open up to what I wanted.
How many of you are like that? You don’t know what it is you like to do or would even enjoy doing for any length of time. If you had all the time in the world what would you do? You are so busy taking care of this and that for others….and controlling this or that for others, that you don’t even know what it is you really want to do or enjoy doing. If you are at a place in your life where your children are grown up and gone, your partner is busy doing their own thing, what are you going to do? What will it take to get to that information within your self?
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