Let’s look at the relationships around you today. In the relationship with your partner/spouse, how do you relate with each other? In the relationship between you and each one of your children, how do you relate with each other? With every relationship that is important to you, how do you relate with each other? If you are ‘strong’ in relating with each other, your ‘internal dynamics’ will be strong between the two of you. It will mean you will not be affected by the ‘external world’ around you!
If you and your partner/spouse relate strongly with each other, you won’t be affected by for example, the in-laws or friends who may try to influence some part of the relationship between the two of you. The same goes with each one of your children. There will be a ‘strong’ feeling between the two of you. When you come to feel that strength, you can move onto the family unit as a whole. Everyone in the family can relate coming from a place of strength with each other.
Let’s keep moving forward…what about your relationship with God? Are you strong in relating with God? If there is a weakness there, you will feel it. Now, what about your Self? Are you strong in relating with/to your Self? That may sound odd, but I assure you, if you have a weakness with your Self, you will feel it when you think about relating to your Self. By clearing your weaknesses, you will be in a stronger place within your Self….and you will feel it!
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Who's in control of who?
With Valentine’s Day around the corner…I feel one of the most important qualities in a relationship with your partner is to accept the decisions they make and to support them in those decisions. That is without saying anything to the contrary! Easy? Are you kidding me! It has to be one of the toughest things for me to overcome. I’m not only talking about my husband, I’m talking about the majority of my relationships with people. In looking back, anytime I’ve ‘reacted’ to their decisions in the past, it hasn’t been a good experience. It almost felt like I wished I wouldn’t have said anything.
‘Reacting’ shows up when you try to talk them out of their decision for some reason. It can come from thinking you know what would be better than they do. It can come from those times where you thought you were smarter or it can go deep down to where you wanted them to do what you wanted them to do (maybe be with you instead of going out with their friends). Talk about controlling issues. I know I’ve come from all those places at one time or another. It truly has been my reaction that showed me my lessons. If I don’t get it the first time, it shows up again. The Universe is so good about making sure I get it one of these times.
Almost every time I’ve reacted to some of the decisions my husband has made, I’ve come to a place of seeing how what I did was wrong (if I could use that word); how what I did was not called for. One time he made plans to do some building in the garage. I talked him out of it so we could be together that night. He changed his plans and what ended up happening was I got a call to do some energy work on someone who needed it that night. If I would have accepted my husband’s decision to work in the garage, and supported him, we would have both been in a place to do what we were both called to do that night.
The other side of that is true as well. My husband made plans to do some building and I was at peace with those plans. I knew we would be together later. What happened was his plans changed and I got to be with him the whole night.
When we get ourselves out of the way allowing life to flow, it does so for the highest good of the whole involved. We don’t see what is planned for us or the others in our life for that matter. Are you okay with that? Who’s in control of who?
‘Reacting’ shows up when you try to talk them out of their decision for some reason. It can come from thinking you know what would be better than they do. It can come from those times where you thought you were smarter or it can go deep down to where you wanted them to do what you wanted them to do (maybe be with you instead of going out with their friends). Talk about controlling issues. I know I’ve come from all those places at one time or another. It truly has been my reaction that showed me my lessons. If I don’t get it the first time, it shows up again. The Universe is so good about making sure I get it one of these times.
Almost every time I’ve reacted to some of the decisions my husband has made, I’ve come to a place of seeing how what I did was wrong (if I could use that word); how what I did was not called for. One time he made plans to do some building in the garage. I talked him out of it so we could be together that night. He changed his plans and what ended up happening was I got a call to do some energy work on someone who needed it that night. If I would have accepted my husband’s decision to work in the garage, and supported him, we would have both been in a place to do what we were both called to do that night.
The other side of that is true as well. My husband made plans to do some building and I was at peace with those plans. I knew we would be together later. What happened was his plans changed and I got to be with him the whole night.
When we get ourselves out of the way allowing life to flow, it does so for the highest good of the whole involved. We don’t see what is planned for us or the others in our life for that matter. Are you okay with that? Who’s in control of who?
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Now looking back, was it something from childhood?
When I work on people for their issues and pains, I can get to a place with some people where something in their childhood comes up as a source of their pain. Some get quite defensive saying they had a great childhood and how their mom and dad are wonderful loving people. I continue to follow the clearing of what I get and when I’m done, I ask about the pain. They say it’s gone.
I was sitting in the airport this past weekend. I saw a mom interacting with her two daughters. The youngest one looked about 2 years old and was being held by the mom. The other daughter I would say was about 4 years old. She wanted to be held by the mom as well. When her mom wouldn’t hold her, the 4 year old yelled at the 2 year old and then at the mom, as she was trying to push her way into her mom’s arms to be cuddled as well. It didn’t happen. She resigned herself to the fact that she wasn’t going to be held and with a mad look on her face, went to sit in another chair.
Something as simple as that could cause issues for that child when she gets to adulthood. If that child goes through a phase where she continues to be sent away, she may grow up to feel ‘no matter what she does her mother won’t give her attention’ and if her mother does give her attention, it may show up in the form of punishment for acting out or yelling. She may also grow up to resent her sister getting all the attention. It can start as young as that. Then as an adult, she may get into relationships where she goes through a stage where her partner doesn’t giver her much attention. Will it be because the partner is being mean? What is her partner showing her?
You see, your central nervous system registers everything that goes on in your life. The hurts and pains will manifest in your life through your physical body or in your relationships of all kinds. When they show up, they can easily be cleared at an energetic level. When you connect to the solution of your problem, your issue will be resolved, regardless of where it originated!
I was sitting in the airport this past weekend. I saw a mom interacting with her two daughters. The youngest one looked about 2 years old and was being held by the mom. The other daughter I would say was about 4 years old. She wanted to be held by the mom as well. When her mom wouldn’t hold her, the 4 year old yelled at the 2 year old and then at the mom, as she was trying to push her way into her mom’s arms to be cuddled as well. It didn’t happen. She resigned herself to the fact that she wasn’t going to be held and with a mad look on her face, went to sit in another chair.
Something as simple as that could cause issues for that child when she gets to adulthood. If that child goes through a phase where she continues to be sent away, she may grow up to feel ‘no matter what she does her mother won’t give her attention’ and if her mother does give her attention, it may show up in the form of punishment for acting out or yelling. She may also grow up to resent her sister getting all the attention. It can start as young as that. Then as an adult, she may get into relationships where she goes through a stage where her partner doesn’t giver her much attention. Will it be because the partner is being mean? What is her partner showing her?
You see, your central nervous system registers everything that goes on in your life. The hurts and pains will manifest in your life through your physical body or in your relationships of all kinds. When they show up, they can easily be cleared at an energetic level. When you connect to the solution of your problem, your issue will be resolved, regardless of where it originated!
Monday, January 25, 2010
Where are your parents in your body?
Energetically it is spoken that your left side of your body is your feminine/yin side and your right side is your masculine/yang side. Well now incorporate your mother on your left side and your father on your right side. Firstly, look at your mom and dad individually. What generally stands out about what you noticed they did or didn’t do when it comes to for example, money, working, or relationships? Once you’ve done that, look at how they relate(d) to each other. Then look at your self in relation to them. How were you treated? As an adult now, young or old, look at the areas where you struggle or have challenges. Using the information you noticed about your parents, what are you noticing about your own life? Where are you feeling most of the problems in your physical body, on your left or your right side? How are you running your energy? Are there times when you’ve said you would hate to be like your mom or dad? What if you were like ‘them’? You will begin to see some patterns unfolding.
In my life growing up and still even now, my father yells at my mom all the time to do something. It seems when he gets frustrated with things he yells at my mom (that generation didn’t deal too well with their emotions). I reacted to this at home. It sure bothered me and can still catch me off guard. I would start to yell back at him telling him there was no need to yell. I also took that bother into my adulthood; no one was ever going to yell at me in this life time! There are times though where I yell. Hummm! Now my mom was a traditional stay at home mom. She raised us children, being there every day to make sure we had meals prepared and clean clothes for us. I will always remember how she was the one to drive us to all our activities. She would sew our clothes and even did some sewing for others. Along the way she sewed more professionally. She would spend hours and hours sewing beads on wedding gowns and only charge $200. When I would ask her for money for my activities, she wouldn’t have any and would send me to the garage to ask my dad. That was a nightmare because it turned into a begging session. It bothered me to have to ask for money for anything.
Well here’s what I’m noticing in my life. I feel I struggle to get my business to really take off. I’m silencing my business side some how; I’m silencing my dad so I don’t have to hear his yelling anymore. I feel this physically on my right side. When I look at my mother side, I have pushed and shoved and pulled myself so hard, because I didn’t want to be yelled at for doing nothing. I also tend to find it hard to charge for my services at times. As I’m becoming conscious of these patterns I can understand what’s behind some of my issues!
That is only one aspect of my mother/father part of me. Its about learning how I’m running my energy. It has helped me to see where pains, patterns, habits, etc. originate. Have fun!
In my life growing up and still even now, my father yells at my mom all the time to do something. It seems when he gets frustrated with things he yells at my mom (that generation didn’t deal too well with their emotions). I reacted to this at home. It sure bothered me and can still catch me off guard. I would start to yell back at him telling him there was no need to yell. I also took that bother into my adulthood; no one was ever going to yell at me in this life time! There are times though where I yell. Hummm! Now my mom was a traditional stay at home mom. She raised us children, being there every day to make sure we had meals prepared and clean clothes for us. I will always remember how she was the one to drive us to all our activities. She would sew our clothes and even did some sewing for others. Along the way she sewed more professionally. She would spend hours and hours sewing beads on wedding gowns and only charge $200. When I would ask her for money for my activities, she wouldn’t have any and would send me to the garage to ask my dad. That was a nightmare because it turned into a begging session. It bothered me to have to ask for money for anything.
Well here’s what I’m noticing in my life. I feel I struggle to get my business to really take off. I’m silencing my business side some how; I’m silencing my dad so I don’t have to hear his yelling anymore. I feel this physically on my right side. When I look at my mother side, I have pushed and shoved and pulled myself so hard, because I didn’t want to be yelled at for doing nothing. I also tend to find it hard to charge for my services at times. As I’m becoming conscious of these patterns I can understand what’s behind some of my issues!
That is only one aspect of my mother/father part of me. Its about learning how I’m running my energy. It has helped me to see where pains, patterns, habits, etc. originate. Have fun!
Monday, January 18, 2010
Intimacy/Pleasure
‘Putting a little love in your heart’
In the beginning of November 2008, Oprah had a show on television totally dedicated to sex. She had a therapist talk about all aspects of sex. I found it startling to hear her say that 1 in 5 married couples (40 million) live in a sexless marriage. She also said that more than ½ of men and women are not satisfied in their sexual relationships. If this is what’s happening in the USA, to some extent it must be happening in Canada. With those statistics, it made me wonder, ‘what’s blocking people from participating and enjoying the art of lovemaking? Where do people lose that connection in their partnerships?’
The area of relationships has always interested me. What makes us do the things we do? Let’s look at our own partnerships. Are you and your partner as close as you would like to be? Are you able to give and receive pleasure from your partner? Is this an area in which you would like things to be better? Generally speaking, people don’t openly talk about their sex life. Whatever it is that’s preventing you from having the intimacy that you long for, according to the statistics above, you are not alone.
Most people would say they have problems because of their busy schedules. Along with their full time job, they have the children to take care of, the housework to do, the meetings to attend, and family issues to settle. The list can go on. By the end of the day, there isn’t any time left, let alone have any energy to give or receive our partners. When you think about it, if there was going to be a fun group getting together on Friday night, you would make time for it; you would want to be a part of it. What is really missing or what is really blocking you from taking that time to be with your partner?
Time in your day may not be the only issue. There can be some other aspects to consider that could be keeping you from getting close to your partner. Relationships with close friends can be one area to look at. If you have friends that you share everything with, you may feel closer to them than your own partner. This can create some distance between you and your partner. Other areas include how you feel about your body or the body of your partner, touch, rejection and so on. There can be many reasons why we don’t participate.
When things have been going on for a long time, we can tend to accept them as the norm. We lose sight of what that closeness can feel like. If you would like to see changes in your partnership, think of what it is you would like to change. What would you like to see more of? Be really honest with yourself. Once you have identified what it is, how can you bring those changes about. Look at making time for yourself. Are your needs being met? Can you communicate them to your partner? Are there any blocks to communicating? Your partner may not even know what you are feeling. Break it down into smaller pieces. The wonderful thing about knowing what you want is you can make changes for the better. It may even be about finding balance in your life. Little by little you can bring that spark back into your partnership.
If you are feeling you aren’t as close to your partner as you once were, how about starting with a 10 second kiss every day. When you don’t have time in your schedule, it can be as simple as taking 10 seconds either in the morning or last thing at night. Just be present with them. It may seem long at first but you may come to appreciate the little bit of time you can connect with your partner again. It doesn’t have to lead to being intimate. See what happens. Imagine looking forward to the next time your partner comes close to you.
I enjoy working on all aspects of relationships. Using the coaching along with the Yuen Method of energetic clearing, I work with people and their energy (that non-physical part of us). I help them clear through whatever is holding them back from experiencing more satisfaction in the area of intimacy and pleasure. Consider a change in how you feel, whether physically, mentally or emotionally. February was heart month. Have the courage to ‘put a little love in your heart’.
In the beginning of November 2008, Oprah had a show on television totally dedicated to sex. She had a therapist talk about all aspects of sex. I found it startling to hear her say that 1 in 5 married couples (40 million) live in a sexless marriage. She also said that more than ½ of men and women are not satisfied in their sexual relationships. If this is what’s happening in the USA, to some extent it must be happening in Canada. With those statistics, it made me wonder, ‘what’s blocking people from participating and enjoying the art of lovemaking? Where do people lose that connection in their partnerships?’
The area of relationships has always interested me. What makes us do the things we do? Let’s look at our own partnerships. Are you and your partner as close as you would like to be? Are you able to give and receive pleasure from your partner? Is this an area in which you would like things to be better? Generally speaking, people don’t openly talk about their sex life. Whatever it is that’s preventing you from having the intimacy that you long for, according to the statistics above, you are not alone.
Most people would say they have problems because of their busy schedules. Along with their full time job, they have the children to take care of, the housework to do, the meetings to attend, and family issues to settle. The list can go on. By the end of the day, there isn’t any time left, let alone have any energy to give or receive our partners. When you think about it, if there was going to be a fun group getting together on Friday night, you would make time for it; you would want to be a part of it. What is really missing or what is really blocking you from taking that time to be with your partner?
Time in your day may not be the only issue. There can be some other aspects to consider that could be keeping you from getting close to your partner. Relationships with close friends can be one area to look at. If you have friends that you share everything with, you may feel closer to them than your own partner. This can create some distance between you and your partner. Other areas include how you feel about your body or the body of your partner, touch, rejection and so on. There can be many reasons why we don’t participate.
When things have been going on for a long time, we can tend to accept them as the norm. We lose sight of what that closeness can feel like. If you would like to see changes in your partnership, think of what it is you would like to change. What would you like to see more of? Be really honest with yourself. Once you have identified what it is, how can you bring those changes about. Look at making time for yourself. Are your needs being met? Can you communicate them to your partner? Are there any blocks to communicating? Your partner may not even know what you are feeling. Break it down into smaller pieces. The wonderful thing about knowing what you want is you can make changes for the better. It may even be about finding balance in your life. Little by little you can bring that spark back into your partnership.
If you are feeling you aren’t as close to your partner as you once were, how about starting with a 10 second kiss every day. When you don’t have time in your schedule, it can be as simple as taking 10 seconds either in the morning or last thing at night. Just be present with them. It may seem long at first but you may come to appreciate the little bit of time you can connect with your partner again. It doesn’t have to lead to being intimate. See what happens. Imagine looking forward to the next time your partner comes close to you.
I enjoy working on all aspects of relationships. Using the coaching along with the Yuen Method of energetic clearing, I work with people and their energy (that non-physical part of us). I help them clear through whatever is holding them back from experiencing more satisfaction in the area of intimacy and pleasure. Consider a change in how you feel, whether physically, mentally or emotionally. February was heart month. Have the courage to ‘put a little love in your heart’.
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